His languorous body language has defeat encoded into every cell, the spent air of a disillusioned poet. While his unkempt handlebar moustache and scraggly ponytail are just the physical manifestations of a life spent in dissipation, it’s when his soul stares out at you brokenly from behind his eyes that you suddenly catch a glimpse of the wasteland of regret, failure and flitted opportunities that Joe Mascarenhas lives with inside his head.

If there ever was a character that Arjun Rampal could pick to play that is diametrically the opposite of him, it would be that of Joseph Mascarhenas in Rock On!!!. Yet, Rampal’s rendering of Joe was pitch-perfect. Like Joe, Rampal’s origins are modest (his parents are separated and his mother was a school teacher in Jabalpur). Like Joe, Rampal knows what it’s like to live with creative failure and spend years just waiting for your dreams to take off. But unlike Joe, what truly sets Rampal apart from the weary lead guitarist he so convincingly portrayed is his carpe diem philosophy. His never-say-die spirit that blocks him from wallowing in a cesspool of regret or defeat and pushes him to keep his eye trained on the target, a bit like his mythological namesake. Rampal has time and again, powered entirely on the force of will, picked himself up from the ashes and soared back to glory.

Which is where he’s at right now – comfortably wearing the mantle of success, respect and power, with all the trappings to show for it. A successful career, an entertainment company called Chasing Ganesha Films that he runs with wife, Mehr Jesia, a fine-dining restaurant in Delhi called Lap, a National Award win for Rock On!!!, the roaring success of Housefull and the recently-released political drama Raajneeti. Rampal, once turned away by all the large film banners for his dubious acting ability, being too good looking and his stolid woodenness, is now feted by filmmakers whose work runs the gamut from bawdy commercialism to arthouse cinema.

His home, a shrine to the god of minimalism, is a testament to that success, with sweeping views of the city from his wraparound terrace, Persian and Kashmiri carpets on his gleaming marble floors and pops of colour on the walls by artists like MF Husain. Yet, Rampal seems to wear his success almost fearfully. This could explain the proliferation of gods in his home that are suitably appeased, with Buddhas in brass, stone and gold dotting every surface, as well as his own astrological ring-laden fingers, that hint at a latent anxiety at losing his new-found friend.

“I know what it’s like to really struggle after you’ve had it all,” he says introspectively. “I had seen meteoric success as a model in four years, been on the cover of every magazine, seen so much money, travelled everywhere and partied really hard. It was all pretty intense and I was really young. When I decided to give it all up to be an actor, I didn’t know my first film, Moksha, would take five years to make. And I think when you have had such a rise and then you come to hardships, it teaches you a lot about patience.”

While Rampal, 37, could have taken the more logical path of continuing to model while waiting for the film to release, he felt that modelling was actually hampering his growth as an actor. “When I saw the rushes of Moksha, I saw how stiff I was in front of the camera,” he says. “The physical part of riding and running seemed to come naturally but emoting or internalising a character was challenging. When I analysed why I looked so uncomfortable, I realised that a model trains himself very differently from an actor. That’s when I decided that if I was serious about making it as an actor, I had to stop modelling.”

Rampal then embarked on what he calls the toughest time of his life. “Mehr and I were seeing each other at that point and she was a huge support. To make ends meet, she would choreograph a fashion show, I would do an appearance. In fact, things were so bad that our dog was the only one who would get any non-veg food. We ate vegetarian as it was all we could afford,” he says. But it wasn’t as if it was all penury and hardship, there would be blips in the graph where a chunk of money would come from somewhere and the two of them would fly off to Paris and have a great time. “We were young and age was on our side. So, you just enjoy the struggle as well. We lived with the belief that the movies would come out eventually and they would be good,” he says, chuckling.

It is a deep and abiding faith in the power of meditation and prayer that Rampal attributes to his inner calm even through the toughest times. “Spirituality is a very important part of my life, and has been even when I was 19-20 years old. When I first started modelling, I found myself in a fast-paced lifestyle that I was not used to. I went to check out the party scene in Dharamsala but got into Buddhism instead because I found the philosophy very interesting. I still spend a lot of time reading about it, meditating and chanting,” he says quietly.

This Buddhist influence has led to Rampal rethinking his career goals. “People think I went abroad with Elite modelling agency to be a huge international success. The real reason I went was that I wanted to see if I can do it all again from scratch, to see where my karmic circle really is. To figure out if I have an ego, or if I have misused my power, because if I had, I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it again.” Rampal believes the physical journey to the West was actually a metaphor for his inward journey to his core. “It was more about figuring out whether I really knew myself. To run away from a place where everything was really easy, where after a point you begin to feel that you’re losing yourself.”

What he didn’t anticipate though was the harsh reality check it would be. Internationally, at the time, Caucasian features and skin tones dominated British and American ramps and the Indian tawny colouring wasn’t really accepted. “I was in London where I had no work. I got slapped around. From being a huge supermodel, I found I was nobody. A struggler striving to put food on the table,” he says grimly.

It was at this low point that he went to Amsterdam to visit his grandmother. Rampal’s maternal grandmother is Dutch and his grandfather is a Sardar (which would explain his dreamy looks). While in Holland, early one morning while walking along a dam, in a fit of desperation at his circumstances, he began a dialogue with God asking for a sign. “I wanted to know if I should go back to India or continue on this journey as I was having such a tough time. I suddenly noticed this statue plastered with pigeon shit and I remember wondering why when everything else was so pristine and beautiful, this statue had not being cleaned for years. Next to it was a board that had an English translation which said, ‘Some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.’ It was an epiphanic moment for him. “Immediately, everything fell into perspective and I realised that life is all about the experience,” he says.

Rampal also figured that he should move to New York to look for work as a model. There, it was important for him that as a representative of India, he would make India proud. “I wanted to do the biggest shows and work with the top names. And I did. From Donna Karan and Hugo Boss to Thierry Mugler, I did it all. And that’s when I knew, in life, if you don’t have a goal then you can’t score. I had seen the biggest and the best, had been on the runways with them. I had also seen so many people who had made it to the top, achieved everything and then didn’t know what to do next. I knew I didn’t want to be like them.”

And so, Rampal threw it all away for the second time and flew back to India to join films and start anew in a field where he had to earn his stripes from scratch. Ad filmmaker Ashok Mehta had written a script called Moksha that he wanted Rampal to act in. Despite the fact that waiting for the film to be completed took five years, he has no regrets. “Ashok didn’t have the money for the film so he would make an ad film and use the money he earned to shoot. And I’m glad he persisted and never gave up because I think he made a lovely film.”

Rampal says he learned a lot from Mehta’s passion for his work. “It was a film where I’ve carried the cameras on my shoulders and shot on a railway track in Igatpuri. We would eat vada pav after that and drink chai and just be free. It was such a blast and such a great creative experience, I wouldn’t change that for anything,” he says ruminating.

But while there were nuanced performances in Don and Om Shanti Om where he got to display his acting chops, it was Rock On!!! and playing Joe that silenced the Doubting Thomases forever. “I would never have done Rock On!!! if Farhan wasn’t involved in it. I know his sensibility, the kind of music he listens to, so I knew it wasn’t going to be cheesy. What it definitely wouldn’t be, was guys in spandex performing synchronised, choreographed movements on a stage. It would be real and normal,” he says grinning. Then Rampal read the script, “I had tears in my eyes and was all choked up. I told Abhishek Kapoor he had written a beautiful story,” he says.

But as director, Kapoor had begun to have a few qualms about Rampal playing the role as he felt the former model was too good looking. After all, the lead guitarist’s looks shouldn’t overshadow the main actor’s. “It really bothered me that he thought I didn’t fit the part,” Rampal scowls, perking up momentarily to add, “Farhan, however, believed I did. He said he had seen a lot of Joe in me in my personal life. That we had the intense brooding in common.” So, during the first rehearsal in the warehouse Kapoor nervously scrutinised Rampal’s performance. When Rampal retired to his make-up van, an elated Kapoor kicked open the door, charged in, then hugged him tight saying, “You’re definitely my Joe.”

To prepare for the part, Kapoor, Akhtar and Rampal would spend hours together getting drunk, watching music videos, discussing their characters and essentially bonding and forging a camaraderie that comes through even when you watch the film.

However, external validation came in the form of a text message on his phone several months after the film’s release when he was sitting with Mehr on their balcony drinking coffee. The message simply said, ‘Congratulations on your National Award’. “I thought I was sent the wrong message,” Rampal chortles. “So I called my friend and told him, ‘Tu kya pagal hai’. He told me to turn on the TV.” Not wanting to tell Mehr about it until he was very sure, Rampal raced up the stairs to turn on the TV in his den. Every channel was flashing the news that he had won. “I then called out to Mehr and asked her to join me. We were both hugging and crying,” he says emotionally.

The couple’s relationship has endured for decades in a business where faithfulness and loyalty are almost unheard of. Mehr has been a constant companion at the award shows, protectively holding his hand when he doesn’t win and sobbing with uncontained joy when he does. “She is a very strong person and extremely genuine,” he says. “Even when she comes for my movie previews, I wait anxiously for her opinion. But it’s horrible because most times she gets up shaking her head, indicating it was terrible. However, after she saw Rock On!!!, she was speechless with happiness.”

As former supermodels, the couple’s fashion sense is often remarked upon, especially Mehr’s, who has been Tarun Tahiliani’s muse for decades. “Fashion comes easily to us,” says Rampal. “Mehr’s taste is very classic and simple, quite different from mine. But then she mostly tells me what to wear. And if I put on an outfit and she says she doesn’t like it, I change immediately,” he says, adding, “I trust her judgement blindly when it comes to fashion.”

Their two young daughters, Mahikaa and Myra, are skipping up and down the stairs of the living room in identical ponytails and summery capris. According to Rampal, unlike his wife, his kids tend to be completely biased about his movies. “They are huge fans but I was careful not to show them all my work, especially when they were younger, as I didn’t want them to get scared when they saw me in negative roles,” he says, proudly flashing his twin tattoos of the girl’s names on his forearms. “Both of them are really bright. I keep them in mind when I pick my films because I have found that children are the best barometer for entertainment. If the film is good they get so transported,” he says, his eyes softening visibly when he talks about them.

Rampal’s favourite thing to do is to travel with his family. Being a sporty person, he loves introducing his children to adventure sports. “I recently took them sailing in Turkey and jet skiing in the Agean Sea. I want them to grow up fearless and love the outdoors,” he says seriously. But it’s also important for him to keep it real for them and not let them get spoilt. “My success hasn’t come on a platter so I value it all the more and I don’t want them to get out of touch with reality.”

Rampal wants to leave behind a body of work that his kids will be proud of. “I want to mix it up, do a Stepmom and Raajneeti along with a Housefull. I want to be able to prepare for a part but am not going to work out like crazy for no reason. Similarly, I have no problem with putting on 20 kilos if the role demands it. I think being fit is important and love sports. It’s the biggest destresser, especially tennis and athletics. But at the end of my career, after all the ups and downs of my life, if I’m known for my abs and not my work, it will be quite sad.”

Right now, Rampal is content in the knowledge that the road ahead stretches as far as the eye can travel. And there are too many milestones waiting to be hit before restlessness and the need to reinvent himself can set in. But when it does, who knows which sky this phoenix will be drawn to next.

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