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Antic-ated!
Photographs by Gulshan Sachdeva and Richard Perreira Artwork by LSD
Published: Volume 18, Issue 5, May, 2010
Dearly beloved, we gather here to celebrate the first ever, non-annual Hallelujah Awards, for outstanding moments and unparalleled accomplishments at Lakmé Fashion Week (LFW) and Wills India Fashion Week (WIFW). The coiffed, powdered and rouged Lady Sohiny Das (LSD) takes you through this emotionally eventful journey. Please do not cry

BEST MAGIC SHOW
To FDCI, for making the entire first day of WIFW disappear into thin air, and then making it reappear on the day after the scheduled last day. Unprecedented! Sunil Sethi is our Houdini Hero. (LSD, who adores the sterling-haired sexy siren, has volunteered to create a naughty naughty superhero suit, in association with La Perla pour Homme.)

BEST MOVING TRIBUTE
To Virtues, who made a moving (sniffle!) show dedicated to the legacies of (sob!) Sabyasachi and Ritu Kumar, even though both of them are alive and kicking. Better sooner than later; they ran out of time with McQueen....

BEST BACK ROW
To Varun Sardana, for sensing the plight of tired fashion editors and journalists, and shifting the media to last row seats, just so they could relax, apply some rejuvenating face masks, and catch some shuteye. (LSD looked particularly glowing post the show.) Magnanimous!

BEST SET DÉCOR
To The Source at LFW, for their continual support of art by the aesthetically challenged (aka LSD). This time’s theme was avant-garde, with a comment on the impact of modern terrorism on fashion. The prodigious artists conveyed their message by sculpting high-heel donning legs sans body (limbs lost in a terror attack) with flowers (even in pain, there is sweetness) and pink circles (love on this globe). Next time, there will also be a song. (Rumours tell us that LSD will be composing music and lyrics.)

BEST SYNCHRONISED DANCE
To Suneet Varma, for achieving the unachievable – getting our lanky model brigade to perform a choreographed move-and-shake routine. (Shiamak, please steppity-step aside.) Forget Travolta, forget Madhuri in Dil Toh Pagal Hai. Let us bow and observe a minute’s silence in the memory of Amrit Maghera’s strap, which was sacrificed at the altar of disco dancing. (LSD still has Night Fever; doctors say that she may never recover.)

BEST RUNWAY DEBUT
To Vegetarian Noodle Yeti at Lecoanet Hemant. As the (faceless) face of PETN (People for the Ethical Treatment of Noodles), he conveyed all emotions through his luscious green (ish) noodle-locks.

BEST ACTION SEQUENCE
To Niki Mahajan, for some racy, hard hitting, girl-on-girl action that added to the Delhi heat. The narration, in particular, was stupendous. But after all the femme-flirting, Mahajan’s vixen landed up with a handsome hunk at the end of the show. (LSD was so disappointed!)

BEST SCREEN DEBUT
To Prashant Verma, for his extremely realistic portrayal in the pre-show audiovisual public awareness campaign for ‘BDSM Hurts’. His suffering, voice modulations, and particularly, the expressions through his teeth actually conveyed the subtle differences between the sensations acquired from the usage of leather, net and gauze. (LSD did not read the ‘All actions performed by professionals. Do not try this at home’ bit and...never mind.)

BEST SHOWSTOPPER
To Rohit Verma at Krishna Mehta, whose gown-donning, hip-swaying, kiss-blowing, shoulder-curving, skirt-lifting, manly feminine walk (and turns and twists and re-walks) made photographers faint and someone in the audience exclaim, “He..erm…she..erm… It has the It Factor!” (LSD said, “Hmmppph! I have the It Factor!” She really does.)

BEST DISGUISE
To the wig that walked the runway at Narendra Kumar’s show, and all of a sudden…poof! It turned into Nari himself! (And LSD thought it was Cher! She really has been drinking way too much at fashion week...)

BEST WORLD PEACE
To Ritu Beri, for her all-in-one ode to various global problems – war, global warming, deforestation, tigers, good taste.... And her one-stop solution for everything – just shoot them. “After looking at the clothes, I wanted to shoot myself,” a buyer said. It just goes on to prove the immense power of avant-garde haute couture. (LSD is getting a gun.)

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