One of the first things to be understood about Rakhi is that she is a performer. Even her off-screen behind-the-curtains act is one loud, pouty-lipped, and steely-eyed affair. Her theatrics are so intrinsic to her.

So does that make her a drama queen? Maybe…maybe not. I bought into the story which Rakhi would have us all believe – that she’s India’s modern day rags-to-riches Cinderella. Everything I read about her talked of how she was exploited by family and film industry alike. She was the victim who only did the things she did because she needed to earn, and while she was doing it, she’d be ethical and tell it as it is. Oh yes, I bought it all. I owe much of my own popularity as a blogger to this woman. They don’t call me the ‘Unofficial online PR agent of Rakhi Sawant’ for no rhyme or reason. I appreciated all her efforts, I appreciated her in-your-face honesty; this woman had balls.

Cut to a few weeks ago. After agonising for over half a month with channel contact and secretary alike, I was in front of the door of the hotel room in which the shoot of the Rakhi Sawant Showz was taking place. Negotiating the wires of the lights and props, I made my way gingerly and sat at the edge of the sofa, careful not to upset the overflowing ashtray lying by my side. That was at three in the afternoon. Three hours later, Rakhi was done shooting for both the guests (Shiney Ahuja and Minissha Lamba). She had returned to her room to have a quick meal of French fries and cheese sandwiches and assured me, as she sat chomping on a fry, that the moment the shoot’s over, she’d sit with me and give the interview.

Three hours further down the line, I was in the adjacent room talking to her secretary’s assistant, and Rakhi was emitting strange noises from the shoot. “It is part of the script,” he assured me, when he saw me look back startled. “She’s bitching about Mallika Sherawat,” he grinned.

After a while the noises subsided, and finally it was a wrap. The assistant ran back, and I felt relieved that after six and a half hours of waiting, I could finally get down to business.
Except, when I reached Rakhi’s room 10 minutes later, she’d already left.
Yes, that was hardly the sort of day a fan should face. My experience had left me feeling like I was part of a bad Bollywood love song, chasing my elusive heroine around the banyan tree. With an axe in my hand.

But the shoot did ‘open my eyes’ to the Rakhi we all thought we knew. When I finally did meet her one on one, I found my perspective towards her had undergone a sea change. Everything she is made out to be, I realised, is exactly that. Made up. Like the mispronounced English words. Not that I believe she’s joking when she says she can’t speak the language well, but the script writer sure peppers the script with them so that the target audience identify with her. Rakhi was no hamdard of the masses – going by the way she treats those working for her. I felt the fabric fall apart at the seams, revealing to me the image of a businesswoman who calculates every action, gesture and word to make things work for her. And now, if it’s possible, I’m an even bigger fan, because Rakhi has truly mastered that art. After all ganda hai par dhanda hai yeh.

Rakhi is no kid, even if her slight petite frame makes you think she’s probably the same 20-year-old who entered the industry several years ago. Seven to be precise—an eternity by the standards of this place that sells stardust and dreams, casts on couches and requires its women to be young, thin and naked. Well, almost.

In such a place, no one can survive unless they learn the fine art of wresting control. And no one has learnt that better than Rakhi, who knows just how to make everything work for her.