I’m looking for Bobby Deol. But then, so is most of Mumbai’s press. His secretary’s mobile never stops ringing. And virtually all the props we pick for the photo shoot later that day have already been taken – the chair had been used by a film glossy, the mirror by a TV channel…. That’s what a great haircut and a couple of good releases can do for you! Apne and Naqaab have been released last month. And the elusive limelight is blazing down on him once again.

At last. Deol’s made peace with himself and the length of his hair. He is going to wear it long. But he’s getting a brand new style this morning. The curls have to go – that’s already been decided by the time I arrive; now they’re just getting the length right. There’s an apprehensive hush as the hair stylist snips away warily at the ends and the precious crop sails to Deol’s feet.
We sit waiting, holding our breath, as the minutes tick by....
“This could take us into the next millennium!” I whisper to his secretary “and what if he doesn’t like his new haircut!”
“Then he’ll be truly traumatised for a very long time,” she says matter-of-factly.
It’s our lucky day. Deol’s new haircut rocks…he’s happy! The hair stylist doesn’t just get paid money; he even gets two brand new pairs of jeans as a thank you. You could buy up a little country with the money they cost, but then, that’s Bobby Deol, Generous Heart.

The charm is still intact. That lazy dimpled smile, the open, engaging air. But he has done with the reticence. Life’s changing direction and this time, he’s going out to meet it.
He’s thrown open his home. But Deol confesses he hates photo-sessions. He’s trying to overcome his uneasiness by smoking, “something I never do in the house. But today both Bhaiyya (Sunny Deol) and Papa (Dharmendra) are away and I’m the man of the house,” he jokes.
Eventually we sit down to talk. I comment on his new openness. “Earlier, I didn’t have much to say, I didn’t want to be a paper tiger...I wanted my work to speak for me. Now, with these new releases, (Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Apne and Naqaab), I can tell people to go see my performance, without being apologetic about it....”
What went wrong the first time around? “You tell me!” he shrugs. “When people come to you with scripts, you do the ones that sound good, but sometimes they go wrong at the execution level. In fact, I did films with some of the biggest names, but even they didn’t quite work. Maybe luck wasn’t on my side.”

What was the Apne experience like? How did they decide on a script that would do justice to all three of them, I ask him.
“That was the easiest part,” laughs Deol. “Dad said, ‘Look, as long as Sunny and Deol are projected well, I’m okay with the script’, Bhaiyya said, ‘As long as Deol and Papa are taken care of, don’t worry about me.’ And me? I was just extremely happy being around Papa!”
I tell him that we had our misgivings about Apne. Anil Sharma’s movies normally have excruciatingly high sound decibels. The fear was the Deol Testosterone, thrice over, may really prove too hot to handle.
“Yeah, sometimes things can get loud,” Deol laughs. “But Anil was restrained because he had a great story to begin with. It’s only when you’re unsure of yourself that you need to project yourself, shout. The story of Apne drew inspiration from life. About how even in families that love each other dearly, there could be miscommunication and it could cause deep hurt. I think it struck a chord because people identified with it – I’m really proud of how it turned out.”

In real life, the Deol bonding is phenomenal. I mean your eyes all well up at the mention of Dad. “It’s because we have a truly exceptional man for a father. It’s so rare to find someone like him. He’s a superb human being, so good looking, but with not an iota of vanity about him. For me, he’s a real-life super hero. Heroes are all about helping people in distress and that’s all I’ve ever seen Dad do. He even sacrificed his own career for us, towards the end. He wasn’t much of a businessman and suddenly Dad saw he needed to make money for us, our future, so he signed some truly bad films and that annoyed his fans…with Apne, they’ll see the Dharmendra they loved.”
As a child, does he remember one rousing moment, when he was proud to be Dharmendra’s son? “All my life! Every moment of it! Anyway, we hate talking about things like that.”
“Go on, one instance,” I insist.

“Okay,” says Deol reluctantly. “Like during the floods recently, an old friend of Dad – who was first papa’s secretary, then Bhaiyya’s and because he was their secretary, he also became mine – came visiting and couldn’t get away. We were all holed up at home while the water levels rose alarmingly…the ground floor was neck-deep in water. Suddenly this uncle began feeling uneasy; initially we thought he was feeling a bit claustrophobic being cooped in, unable to go home. But then we realised he was having a heart attack! There was no way of driving him to the hospital since the roads were under five feet of water. Then Bhaiyya remembered a neighbour had a dingy – he used to take his kids out boating around the lanes when we’d have a bit of flooding in our street…so we told the servants to go borrow the dingy – but they didn’t know swimming, so they kept dilly dallying. Suddenly we saw Dad walk out into the flood…I ran after him. We waded through the water, got the dingy and put the ailing uncle into the boat and physically hauled it all the way to Arogyanidhi Hospital…with Papa leading the way! He is 70 years old – we could have done it ourselves, but there he was in the middle of the night, hauling a sick friend to hospital – honouring friendship!

“My grandma was like that. She taught us to value this bond families have. To this day, we all live together under one roof – I want my kids to experience the same sense of attachment we had. My children get the love of their grandparents; Bhaiyya’s kids are a little older than mine, so they look after their younger brothers just like Bhaiyya did. And my kids just adore Bhaiyya. He is absolutely their favourite person, because he is so good with kids. So full of love.”

He was quite a free spirit in his earlier years – did Dad ever wallop him? “No, that was left to Mom. You know how it is with Moms. They can skin you alive, but still, the kids will go running to them…with dad, if he was really angry, then one look was enough. With Mom there was always room for engagement....”

How real or unreal has it been being Bobby Deol? “I’d say an actor’s professional life is more real in a sense, because for the time we are shooting together, we’re hooked up… as opposed to the corporate world…where it is more cut and dried. But then, on the other hand, the relationships you make, the friendships, also vanish equally fast when you’ve moved on to a new project. It used to really shock me when I was a kid. I’d meet all these people on Dad’s sets and we’d be so close, then the film would wrap and I’d meet them a couple of months later, and I’d run up to them with the same warmth and they’d be like, ‘Chill, dude…that was yesterday! That’s why we keep our families away from it all! Our home is our sanctuary away from all the insecurity and hurt. People say we don’t bring our wives to social dos. I know what it’s like! I don’t want my wife to go through all that!”

“It’s because of Tanya that I’m still sane,” he says simply.

Is it true Tanya Deol has absolutely the last word on what he wears? “Ever since I’ve got married, she’s pretty much decided what I wear, so if it’s said I have good taste, the credit should go entirely to her. In fact, initially she even styled for my films, but then, you know, how it is with your stylist – you don’t always agree – and I had to come home to mine – there’d be hurt feelings and all that! So now it’s just my regular clothes that she designs… Tanya is a truly gifted person,” he says fondly, “all this furniture, those chairs, the mirrors, this table, they’re all designed by her – she’s so talented, she could really go places – but she’s very shy about projecting herself – she’s very simple. So pure. There’s not a mean bone in her body. That’s why I fell in love with her. Although we’re not at all alike as people. I mean, we don’t like the same food, barring chocolates, we don’t like doing the same things, we don’t think alike...but we’re these two Aquarians, on the ride of our lives....’’

He was quite the party animal before he married Tanya. “Oh yes! I was ‘The Wild One’. I’ve done it all. But I believe you should be allowed to make your own mistakes and learn from them. No one can change you...only life can.”

Are his kids aware he is a film actor, how do they relate to his work? “They’re just about beginning to. In the sense, they get disturbed if they see me get hurt, or bad things happen to me. I try and tell them it is all jhooti mooti, because I was the same way. I’d worry and be very sad if I saw Dad being humiliated or injured in his films. But as for their favourite actor – it’s Salman Uncle. He has such a way with kids.”

Suddenly, Deol’s face lights up, like the sun’s just come up! It has. His little son has just returned home from playschool. His big red school bag on his back…he’s not a bit distressed at seeing a room full of strangers.

“Say hello to everyone!” Deol calls out to him and the little guy holds his hands aloft and yells, “Chachriyakaalji!’’ (Sasriyakaal)… Fascinating to see life renew itself. It’s the same engaging smile, the open happy face. Guess what he’s called. Dharam.