My maid has just been to tell me that her father is very ill and she must go to her village for 15 days. Her face was drawn and grief-stricken and she shed a few tears, but what a dignity there was in her bearing and even in her tears. She carried herself with poise in her anxiety and the composure of her gait was undisturbed. To me it is clear that the source of her strength is her ability to accept the circumstances of her life. This is just the latest of an avalanche of problems that has descended upon her. Yet, her smile rarely wavers and she tackles her domestic tasks with a meditative calm that I totally envy.

What power there is in acceptance. Even the heaviest burden becomes relatively easier to bear when we infuse it with acceptance. For the truth is that nine-tenths of the magnitude of the problem is mind-made, brought on by fear, anxiety, anger, frustration and all the other manifestations of resistance.

It is this that makes our life so miserable and unmanageable and creates suffering for others as well. As one who has habitually resisted life's offerings, I can testify to the unhappiness such an attitude can cause. Everything seems impossible to bear, too hard to handle, too much trouble, life, an incredible aggravation. I have been working hard on accepting my levels of endurance and acceptance, and as these qualities slowly grow in me, life is getting easier. Instead of worrying myself into mountains of anxiety, I find myself quite often cutting to the chase and actually solving the problem.

That's the greatest advantage of acceptance. When you are resisting the situation, you simply cannot see beyond it. It looms before you like a tower and your entire mind screen is filled with thinking about it, wishing things were different, being angry with self, others or God, phasing out into avoidance and so on. When acceptance happens and that is a long task, suddenly, the problem seems to get more porous, we can actually discern possibilities beyond it, we can see what steps we can take; we cease to feel helpless and take charge of the situation.

More important, the negative feelings drain and an imperceptible sense of peace fills us. Okay, we think, I can cope with this. I can accept the consequences of this problem. And this is what I can do to handle it.

How do we move towards acceptance? The task is never easy, but the level of acceptance within us is indissolubly linked with our level of confidence and self-esteem. The more able we are to handle the stuff life throws us, the less fuss we make about its less palatable circumstances.

The knowledge that problems, crises and hurdles help us to grow, is another factor that helps move us towards acceptance. Once we recognise that our greatest traumas and catastrophes have eventually been blessings because they released so many facets of our personality we had no idea existed, we tend to be less kayoed when a fresh problem tries to knock us down. We even essay a hint of insouciance, refusing to buckle down, keeping that smile on our faces despite the promotion that bypassed us, the project with an impossible deadline, the illness that waylaid us, the relationship that has exploded and so on.