There is a certain charm to polo. And even more so when it is played in Delhi. For starters, the most intelligent of sports is played at the Jaipur Polo Grounds, next to the Prime Minister's residence. (I mean, how stupid is it to have a Jaipur Polo Ground in the heart of Delhi?) There's a certain sense of glamour and what's more, a feeling of going back in time. When life revolved around the good things and when a chukker meant the ones that riders astride polo ponies took rather than the ones we are forced to take, be it for updating passports or, what's worse, for getting milk on a wintry morning. Polo was never meant as an intellectual activity which is why even today, you won't find scientists and academics watching it with intent. It was a sport meant for those who suspended even the little intelligence they possessed which is why they take the risk of either playing polo or watching a bunch of riders change their goalposts every chukker.

But today, polo in Delhi has changed lives. And some for the better. It is a sport that attracts tycoons and the less endowed. It attracts relics of royalty as much as the nouveau riche and I believe that is why there is a renewal in the sport. Today you need to know nothing about horses or for that matter the riders; as long as you have some very expensive day clothes and a fine perfume on your body. This is the new passport for those who want to watch the game. You don't even need to worry that you are in effect an idiot. Since the person next to you is hardly ever going to even hear about the Nobel Prize. I have never been a polo enthusiast but I have to confess the game is getting to me. I am becoming increasingly fond of it and very respectful. In fact, polo in Delhi has changed my life for the better. And this is what I wish to share.

Thanks to polo, I am meeting girls half my age; the only other way I could have done this is by teaching at some silly girls' college. And these young nubile girls are temptresses of the highest order. That is the reality of my experiences with the game thus far. What's more, I am meeting them at exotic destinations such as Jaipur and Jodhpur. Places I would have never visited for various reasons, the simplest being that I would have never found them on the map or perhaps even on an airline schedule. And, I am meeting them in all my finery and without looking like a dressed-up peacock.

Thanks to polo, I am coming across as an avid sportsperson and people of my age can easily pass off as has-been polo players: who is ever going to check or even find out? Being a sporty kind of person also has other advantages for my current state of marital penury. It allows me to come across as a person with varied interests, hence polo has also added to my personality and made me more confident. I can now even think of joining a political party with this kind of super confidence. Earlier, this was woefully lacking.

Polo in Delhi also enables you to meet real royals rather than some crooked pretenders. Royals who have style and grace and who have homes that make me feel rich since some of them are quite unkempt. But the biggest advantage of polo is that it makes me feel special. It is almost as if every afternoon spent at polo is special and removed from reality. I don't have to worry about the next advertisement or for that matter complex marketing strategies; I don't need to worry about the state of the nation or what the government is up to. It is pure bliss and that is why polo has made me a man. Even though I still don't understand the game.

But then the Delhi polo scene is very forgiving. Apart from players with limited intelligence, they also tolerate spectators with equal intellect and that is why polo is a great leveller. You can sit with Nafisa Ali and never ever discuss politics or for that matter sit with Karisma Kapur and pretend Bollywood doesn't exist. You can also sit with Sunjay Kapur and envy him all afternoon. But that is what polo does to me. It transports me into cuckoo land and that is why an afternoon at polo is better than an entire strip of Alprax. Both put you to sleep except that one does it in a very stylish manner.

Finally, polo is the only sport that ends in an hour; doesn't tax your brains and you don't need to know any of the players as long as you know the women they are with. There are no sporting heroes in this game and I am glad that it is this way. There are some loud commentators with a repetitive streak in them: if you can live with that, then go forth and enjoy the game.

After all, polo has become the true elixir of my life, it just might be yours too. So the next time you are travelling to Delhi over a weekend and if all you are doing is carrying Alphonso mangoes for your mother-in-law, tell your fellow passenger you are coming down to see polo. It is the smartest and most respectable thing to do in these parts of the woods nowadays!