"Let's talk about sex, baby, let's talk about you and me...."

No, seriously, let's talk about 'it'. It's only the most natural, most basic, most essential urge in the world. One without which life would literally come to a halt. And, it's also the one area in our lives that gets swept under the carpet even if we do (or rather, especially if we do) have a problem there.

I mean, how many of us would actually complain to our family doctor/gynaecologist about a flagging libido and ask for help? I know I wouldn't. Most of us don't even take the 'Find Out Where Your Sex Drive Is Headed' quiz in the magazine for fear of being told it's gone too far south to ever make a U-turn.

I wasn't always so forthcoming about it either, but that was before I attended the Pleasure Party. No, it's not what you're thinking - a free-for-all orgy with everyone and everything fair game. Far from it. Organised along the lines of a Tupperware presentation, the party was conducted by women for women, with the main difference being that instead of the neatly piled rows of plastic containers, here stood a table laden with products that screamed 'Erotica!'

We were told very professionally that the main purpose of the evening was to introduce to us toys, games and other accessories that would help us enhance our sex lives. And from the comments I heard from the audience, it was evident that everyone there needed help! There followed titillating lingerie, risqué board games, books on intimate massages along with the requisite lotions and love potions and of course the sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, self-heating pillows and even a massage ring that, when worn on a finger and used to massage (ahem!) oneself, promised to transport the user to the Land of Os!

And while I refuse to divulge who bought what, that evening revealed only too clearly that as we reach our complacent 30s and 40s, we could all do with a fresh look at the most intimate part of our lives. Rejuvenating our sex lives - a vital part of our existence, both at a physical and emotional level - should get the help it needs. These aids are, of course, just one aspect of it. First, let's get the terminology right. While sex is just the act, what we really mean when we use the term 'sex life' is our libido. Libido refers to sexual desires, thoughts and fantasies, all of which add up to your sex life.

While hormones usually get blamed for a low or, as some of my fellow partygoers put it, non-existent libido, they're not always the villains. Various factors affect a woman's sexual urge, depending on the stage of life she's at. New mothers often find themselves sleep deprived and overwhelmed - often to a point where the thought of having sex is enough to lead to a fresh round of postpartum depression. Career-focused years can leave women depleted and stressed, with all their passion going into their jobs and the commute taking its toll, too. Midlife brings its own issues: weight-gain is a common libido killer, combined with the vaginal dryness that often accompanies menopause.