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Unreality Check
Text by Ratna Rajaiah and Illustration by Farzana Cooper
Published: Volume 14, Issue 5, September-October, 2006

In the twinkling of a weekend, last week's bahu transforms into this week's saas. As characters add on decades without sprouting a single streak of silvery hair, Ratna Rajaiah takes a look at the twists and turns of soapy sagas...

Move over Sita, the TV bahus are here. Of course, many of them have moved on to becoming full-blown saas' themselves, making that prophecy come true that first echoed on that momentous night in millions of drawing rooms across the length and breadth of India, as Mummy-Pappa, Chinki-Pinki, Daada-Daadi and other animals settled down to their post-dinner mutter-paneer burps. Kyunki...Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.

The transition has been swift. In the twinkling of a weekend, last week's bahu is this week's saas. And you realise that only because of the number of times she addresses grown men and women as 'beta'; everything else about her is frozen in time since she had her third daughter (legitimate) by her second marriage to her first husband. Yup, silvery streaks of grey, however subtle are as passé as kurtis and the New Improved Saas crosses over from bahu to saas without sprouting a wrinkle or shedding a falsie….er, I mean false eyelash.

Now, if that's not true to life, then I don't know what is. No, I'm not out of my mind from watching too many saas-bahu serials. As far as I am concerned, nothing can come closer to reality than these wondrous tales, which as we all by now know so well, are kahanis of every Indian ghar ghar ki. There's no need to raise your eyebrows and sneer. Look at the facts of the case.

Kyunki...Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Age: 1252 episodes, give or take a few. The mother-in-law of all saas-bahu serials. Since it first aired six years ago, it yanked Star Plus out of the gloomy wilderness of an obscure 'gora channel' that nobody watched and made it second to only Doordarshan in terms of viewership. Since then, after the initial slow start, the serial hasn't wavered from occupying at least one of the top three slots of TRP ratings even for a single week. It has made Smriti Z. Iraani into a national icon and almost won her a Lok Sabha seat and, if one news report is true, command the astonishing fee of Rs 50,000 per episode.

Incidentally, I just checked the latest TAM report. The top three shows for the week? Kyunki...Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Kyunki...Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Kyunki... Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. The next three? Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii. Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii. Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii. Followed by Kasautii Zindagii Kay, Kahiin To Hoga…. You get my drift. In fact, the top 25 shows on Star Plus are…I'll give you one and a half guesses.

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