I wouldn't say I'm destiny's favoured child. Destiny is good to me when I work and it's taken me a long time to reach where I am today," says the 39-year-old director of the immensely successful films, Hum Tum and Fanaa and the not so successful Mujhse Dosti Karoge.

We are sitting in the plush environs of Yashraj Films' state-of-the-art studio and Kohli is justifiably pleased to be part of Aditya Chopra's team of directors here. "To come to an office like this every morning is a privilege. Yashraj Films is an institution in itself. From Daag to Fanaa, it has over 25 years of films to its credit and I am very happy to belong here. And to the world of Hindi films at large." Whether it is talking animatedly about his films or introducing his assistants to the golden classics of a bygone era, you can tell that this one-time host of television shows is passionate about the medium. So passionate that this snobby South Mumbaiite even worked as a bartender in America in order to finance his visits to the cinema.

In an industry that worships only one god - success - Kohli is today a much-revered director. But when his first film, Mujhse Dosti Karoge, was a washout, despite a star ensemble, lavish production values and all the ingredients of a successful formula film; the film industry was thrilled to see him written off. It had extracted its pound of flesh in exchange for all the films Kohli had bad-mouthed on his television show, Chalo Cinema. "It was easy for you to criticise us. Now you know what it entails to make a film," the filmwallahs chorused, as they proceeded, viciously, to treat him like a pariah.

Recalling those humiliating days, Kohli relates, "People would turn away when I entered a party. They would avoid my phone calls. Once, when I messaged a director saying I liked the first half of his film, he snapped at me, saying, 'You can have an opinion if you have some achievement to your credit.' He said this at a large gathering, loud enough for everyone to hear and I stood stripped, completely defenceless."

Even today, Kohli cringes, remembering those words. "On hindsight, I would say I am glad I didn't achieve success with my first film. I might have become pompous like that director. In fact, I'm sure I would have," he states candidly. "Today, the very people who shunned me come out of their way to meet me, shake my hand and make conversation. But this adulation doesn't go to my head because I can see through their hypocrisy and fake values."

When Mujhse… flopped (ironically, Yashraj Films made a profit from it, and according to trade figures it is Hrithik Roshan's biggest hit overseas), Kohli had to sell off his office, one of his cars and with much difficulty, maintained his credit card balance. Naturally, he sank into deep depression. But, after six weeks of melancholia, Kohli decided to pull himself out of his gloom. "I went to see my film in Liberty Theatre to analyse where I had gone wrong. There were only about 40 college students in the hall; I sat behind them and listened to their barbs. Then I returned home and did an honest self-appraisal." Looking back upon his career, Kohli realised that he had made a mark on TV because he had created original, first-of-their-kind programmes like Philips Top Ten, Lux Kya Scene Hain and Chalo Cinema. "Whereas when I made Mujhse…I had aped others. I had tried to be Sooraj Barjatya, Aditya Chopra and Karan Johar. My film lacked conviction. I realised I had to be true to myself and make my next film on a subject I believed in."

The story of Hum Tum, inspired by Woody Allen's Annie Hall, had been germinating within him even before he made Mujhse…. "Earlier, I didn't have the guts to make a film (Hum Tum) about a couple that just talks and talks. Now, when I was so low that I couldn't possibly sink any lower, I thought I'd take the risk." Aditya Chopra, with whom Kohli had a three-film contract, decided to back him even though his more experienced father, Yash Chopra, disapproved of the script and thought they were making a mistake.

Twelve drafts later, the script was honed to Aditya and Kohli's satisfaction. But finding the right actor was easier said than done. First choice, Aamir Khan, was going through a personal turmoil and not looking at new scripts. Second choice, Hrithik Roshan, had five flops behind him and didn't want to take up a risky proposition. Third choice, Viveik Oberoi, flip-flopped between a 'yes' and a 'no' so many times that they decided against him. Finally, much to Kohli's horror, Aditya suggested Saif Ali Khan, who had not a single success as a solo hero to his credit. Kohli thought about it for a week and decided to go along. "After all, viewers reject even Hrithik. I will convince the audience by making a good film," he reasoned.

When the film was ready, Yash Chopra was the first to be convinced. Unequivocally, he certified, "You have made a good film. I love it and am proud of it. Go home and sleep." Despite such words of high praise, Kohli went through intense labour pains before the all-crucial Friday. "On Thursday, at a paid preview show of the film, the audience reaction was disastrous. The hall was filled mainly with folks from the film industry and I found their responses totally skewed. They laughed in the emotional scenes and one heroine got up and left before the film ended. Others walked out giving me patronising pats…and some avoided looking at me altogether." Kohli didn't sleep at all that night.

The next day Aditya and Kohli went to check out the reaction of the regular audience, with Aditya inside and Kohli outside the theatre. After the first show Kohli's phone didn't stop beeping. "Every time a show got over, I received 40 to 50 congratulatory messages!" he recounts. After ticket-buying viewers gave him a thumping ovation, the awards started pouring in. That he got a film monthly's trophy in its golden jubilee year, is a matter of immense pride for this film lover-turned-film-maker.

Two years later, Fanaa, a lyrical love story, too, opened to mixed reports. With vested political interests banning the film and critics not being too complimentary, the release of the film was shrouded with uncertainty. But Friday saw avid film buffs who were waiting eagerly for a Kajol-Aamir Khan starrer, flocking to the theatres. They even commuted all the way to Mumbai from Gujarat where the film was banned.

With each successive film, Kohli is progressively coming into his own, delving into relationships that are off the clichéd path. In Fanaa, the intensity of a blind girl's attraction to a rakish tour guide is both, bold and refreshing. Like Hum Tum's Rhea, Zooni is not stricken with guilt after a passionate night of lovemaking. Platonic love culminates naturally and beautifully into physical love. Shot aesthetically, the love scenes reflect Kohli's honesty and maturity as a film-maker. There are no voyeuristic camera angles or sly attempts at exploiting the woman's body. "I am not comfortable showing skin," he says. "That doesn't mean I'm a prude. I think the title song of Hum Tum was very sensuous. So was the rain scene in Fanaa. I think you can express sensuality without showing cleavage. I tell my heroines that their sex appeal should lie in their eyes. Their dress designers beg me to allow their outfits to be a little sexy but I don't let them."

Ask him about his sensitive delineation of women and his immediate reaction is, "I am not gay!" On a more serious note, he adds, "From childhood, I have seen my mother going out to work; my sister was never expected to pander to my needs. My wife, Raveena, too, has her own career as a freelance director of television programmes. So, I have always interacted with women who have their own identities." Perhaps that's why it is not just his leading ladies who are different from the run-of-the-mill heroines, even the mothers in his films are a far cry from the saccharine sweet, martyr figures one is habituated to seeing on screen. Rati Agnihotri in Hum Tum, for instance, is a smartly turned-out, very contemporary mom who hasn't allowed a failed marriage to bog her down. "I have always perceived women very differently from the way most other men see them," he states. Not surprisingly, Guide and Pyaasa are two of his favourite films.

Much before he was personally affected by the ban of Fanaa in Gujarat, Kohli came out in open support of Aamir Khan on his stand on the rehabilitation of those threatened with ouster by the Narmada Dam project. He also dashed off articles on Mumbai's North-South divide after the city got flooded last year. Apart from just speaking out, he believes that if you have the connections you must also try to get remedial action taken. "One has no right to criticise, if one is not willing to take steps to rectify a perceived wrong," he states, very clear that the power that comes with celebrity status, should be used in a responsible manner.

The director is poised to turn co-producer with Chopra who thinks Kohli's strength as a film-maker is his belief in the magic of Hindi cinema. The proverbial outsider, with no connections whatsoever in the film industry, Kohli's track record of three films in six years is an enviable one. "Success and failure are temporary. What remains are the films you have made."