She controls life and plays a special role in creation. Reason enough for standing tall and loving herself. Suma Varughese believes every woman must release the dormant goddess within and be true to her real self

Although we in India are quick to worship goddesses and there is some awareness of the Vedic truth that we are divine, the idea has to still percolate down the line that the woman we see in the train or in front of us at the shopping centre is a potential goddess. We don't even believe it of ourselves, let alone of the colleague who fritters her time in idle gossip or of our mother-in-law. But that's who we really are and it's time we reclaimed our heritage.

Standing tall: So what's it like to be a goddess and how does it differ from being a mere woman? In the first place, of course, it gives us divine standing. This is very good reason for standing tall and loving ourselves. The best thing about this self-esteem boost is that it does not come at the cost of others. Everyone's divine. So we simply can't toss our heads and put our noses up in the air when we pass our next-door neighbour on the staircase. She's divine too!

And what about men, you ask? Oh, they're also divine, potential gods. But there's a difference between being a god and a goddess. In the Indian cosmology, the goddess is shakti, energy. It is through her that the life force infuses existence and animates it. Even Shiva, they say, is shava (corpse), without the animating influence of his better half, shakti.

Creating life: Coming down to earth, the ancient thinkers understood that the two polarities of life and death are governed by either sex. Women control life and men, death. You don't believe it? It's true, nevertheless. Quite apart from the fact that it is the female sex that gives birth to life, women are naturally caring and nurturing, creating life everywhere, from causing plants to bloom, to coaxing animals to flourish and children to grow. A woman, the traditionalists hold, is the aishwarya of the household; she controls its auspiciousness. Everyone knows that a household revolves around the woman of the house and that when she falls ill or goes away somewhere, it falls out of joint, strangely silent and still.

Her predilection for life is why woman has always favoured peace rather than war, co-operation to competition and conciliation to confrontation. Unlike men, women show little fascination for blood sports or wildly dangerous activities like boxing, bull-fighting or car-racing. Women show little inclination to beat up each other or kill each other and violence in films and TV revolts them. Violence is a man's prerogative, driven as he is by the imperative towards death.

Holding firm: There is of course, no right or wrong about this division of guardianship. Both are equally important for the sustenance of life. It is death that causes new life to be. But nevertheless, by virtue of the fact that we are in touch with the forces of life, a woman plays a special role in creation. So we need to endorse and appreciate that quality in ourselves. Women combat entropy, the dread death impulse, by their very presence.

They sweep the cobwebs off the ceiling, sew on buttons, mend frayed clothing, nurse an invalid carefully through an illness, safeguard the house through the vicissitudes of weather, polish floors and maintain relationships. When crisis strikes, they hold firm, sustaining their families through their own inner strength and commitment. All this is the mark of the goddess.

Protecting dignity: But there is more to being a goddess than even this. The goddess is a woman of many parts, skilled in self-defence and in protecting her dignity and self-respect. Unlike many of us, the goddess is in no danger of being a doormat or a drudge. When those around her take her for granted or abuse her goodness, she is quite capable of opening wide her fearsome eyes and reducing her abuser to ashes (remember Gandhari in Mahabharata?).

The goddess is fiercely independent, proud of who she is and will not give away her power to anybody. She is love incarnate but she is also strength incarnate. These are qualities we need to adopt in ourselves. It's no news that centuries of patriarchal rule have sadly diminished and dissipated our power. We are full of self-doubt and self-deprecation. We run ourselves down, despise ourselves and suffer from a crippling lack of self-esteem. We need to recover our sense of power, of strength, of fearless independence and, if we look at the goddesses we have in the Hindu pantheon, we'll know which way to go.

Think Kali, think Durga, fearsome manifestations of the raging goddess who strides upon the world stage every now and then to rid the world of evil. We women could do with a healthy dose of their fierce femininity and righteous wrath to heal us of the wounds of subjugation and powerlessness.

Asserting regally: When we toe the line, try and please, aim to be a good girl, we often compromise our integrity and do violence to our own nature. In India, particularly, we suffer from a terrible need to conform, to not rock the family boat. All this puts tremendous pressure upon us and stops us from being who we are. But the goddess within us calls us to be our own true self. We are not to hide our power, we are not to allow others to dominate and control us - we are not to be browbeaten.

We are to assert ourselves regally and majestically and insist upon being treated as an equal. First, we do this gently, diplomatically, assertively. But when insult turns to injury and abuse, then the goddess within us is justified in shooting out a ribbon of fire and scaring the assailant away. We need to balance our loving, nurturing and compassionate self with just enough of the goddess's stern and fierce aspects to command a healthy respect. Only then will we be truly free to be ourselves…truly free to release the goddess within.

[Suma Varughese, a regular Verve contributor, is the managing editor of Life Positive magazine. Readers, with a spiritual bent, may write in to soul@verveonline.com]