Facing people is like going to war for me...it's almost like death!

The unruly locks have given way to a shorn crop. A. R. Rahman is relaxed and in control. Bombay Dreams has closed in London and opened on Broadway. His Hindi films are on schedule. A symphony is in the making. The stage version of The Lord Of The Rings is his latest challenge. The frenzy of the last few months, as he hopped between continents, is over. The Mozart of Madras has come home to roost. JAYASHREE MENON coaxes him out of his innate shyness and delves into the mind of the maestro of cool tunes

I started as a composer from Chennai with a completely different background. Just as I began to get used to the sensibility of Hindi film music, Bombay Dreams happened. I didn't know a thing about stage musicals. And with the Chinese film, Warriors Of Heaven And Earth, it's become like a game of life.

How do you balance your essential shyness with this public persona?

At the end of the day, I'm a composer. Finally, I have to deliver my music to the public. Slowly, I changed myself and started singing and began to extend myself as much as I could… to the limits that I could go. But I'm still not comfortable.

How much time do you spend with your family?

I have realised that I must spend more time with my children if I want them to listen to me. They came to London with me recently when I was doing a workshop for The Lord Of The Rings. It was just the five of us together - my wife, Saira, the kids and me.

What makes you happy?

Umm. It's a very strange thing….actually going back to my childhood story (laughs). I experienced most of the disappointments in my life at that time. So whatever happens now, I suspect that hope, I always suspect that happiness. So even that moment of happiness doesn't exist because I am waiting for how it's going to fool me and give me a kick again.