When we turn off our conscience, a curtain appears between us and our real self. We are no longer in touch with ourselves. Our feelings deaden, and our levels of empathy and sympathy shrink

For those 20-somethings taking their first independent steps on the tightrope walk of life, Suma Varughese picks out five hypotheses and demonstrates the best way of hanging in there, without losing your moral balance.

There’s nothing as baffling as life, especially when you are just starting off your independent course at 20 or 21. Questions, dilemmas and choices swamp you as you struggle to set the compass of your life. Why should you follow your conscience when everyone around you seems to be thriving without it? What is good and what is bad? How does one become successful without compromising on values? Is there a way of getting through the tightrope walk of life without falling into divorce, failure or addiction? Why do bad things happen to good people? How can you change your personality or are you stuck with who you are?

If you are grappling with these questions, welcome. Let me tell you how life at 46 appears to me. If there’s anything from it that you can take away, do so, but remember that to be truly meaningful, you must experience these truths for yourself. What I shall state are a series of hypotheses, which you get to prove or disprove in the course of your life.

Hypothesis One: This is my favourite, the one that makes me sing with joy and give thanks in the middle of the night. We live in an ethical universe. Yes we do. Absolutely. Your friends may think it cool to lie or cheat at exams; your elders may think nothing of giving or taking bribes; you may have seen people swarm up the ladder by climbing on the carcass of others or college professors taking credit for what is not their work. Take it from me, none of this works in the long run. As a matter of fact, it does not even work in the short run, but the punishment in the short run is so subtle that we don’t register it even if it happens to us.

[Suma Varughese, a regular Verve contributor, is the managing editor of Life Positive magazine.]