 I love no-fuss, feminine clothes that have a sexy edge to them. Style has everything to with attitude and I like to feel all-woman. 
The 21st century society woman does not...well, just socialise. A new mantra – spirituality – has permeated a routine, brimming with fitness regimes, champagne soirees and jet-setting sojourns. Rita Dhody, elegant, earthy, articulate, walks the path to serenity, as she adds a fresh balance to a life of luxe.
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When Rita Dhody went on her first week-long retreat to an ashram at Ganeshpuri, she arrived in her usual nonchalant style, accompanied by three pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage, an exercise mat and her favourite dumb-bells. “There was this sweet woman with a small suitcase who I was sharing the room with and here I was, looking like I was taking off on a luxury cruise!” Her full-throated laughter rings out at the embarrassing memory. Dhody’s 43-year-old, gym-toned body and glowing skin are reflective of her belief in “wanting to be fit not just to look great but wanting to be fit to feel whole.” And Dhody is feeling ‘whole’ again after an intense spiritual search that has led to her present state of peace and contentment. Shakti, seva, sadhana, pepper the conversation of one who adopts yogic postures at sunrise, chants quietly to herself, weight trains regularly and meditates every day “to still the mind”.
Back from a summer jaunt spent cheering the Grand Prix ‘bravehearts’ in Monte Carlo, along with close friend, Valentina Nayar (the legal arm of the Arun Nayar-Elizabeth Hurley tangle) and from London, with fashion victims – daughters, Aneesa (20) and Nadine(14) – Dhody is looking forward to her new acquisition, an incoming doctorate in naturopathy from the Clayton College of Natural Health, USA, achieved through gruelling hours of study in her book-cluttered bedroom and hands on practical training with noted skin expert, Dr Jamuna Pai. Dhody hopes to use her experience at voluntary welfare camps and knowledge of alternative medicine to elevate the lot of children with special needs. "I have simplified my life," she says, remembering times when life was not so easy.
Twelve years ago, after high flying businessman, Raja Dhody (now with former beauty queen, Queenie) distanced himself from their ten-year-old marriage, Dhody locked herself in a self-created shell, emerging periodically to comfort her bewildered offspring. "Aneesa, almost nine, was completely devastated and Nadine was a little round ball of one-and-a-half. I believe in commitment. I thought my marriage was going through turbulent times and being put to the test. But it wasn’t meant to be." Dhody recalls her near break down state when she dropped out of social gatherings and refused to meet people. "It becomes so easy getting used to an unhappy situation and it takes a lot of courage to break away from it," she says, "and when that happens – to hold one’s life in one’s own hands and give it direction, it’s a wonderful road to discovery."
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Also, like all little girls who grow up adoring their fathers, Dhody was certain that somehow, Papa would make things right again. But Papa, Bawa Gurnam Singh’s businesses in Iran and Iraq had taken a beating in the Gulf War, he had suffered tremendous personal losses and was preparing to go in for a delayed heart surgery. "The last thing I wanted to tell him was, ‘Dad, my marriage has crashed.’"
Dhody grew up in Kuwait, vacationing in the playing fields of Europe and in family homes spread across Iran, Beirut and London. No one had been to India, so propelled by a curiosity and fascination for her ancestral land, she cajoled familial patriarchs and made her way to Mumbai’s Sophia College, for a double major in Economics. "I was allowed to go because it was a convent and it had a hostel." And though Dhody did not come from an orthodox background, "it was certainly a conservative one". These were the wonder years. Going out on dates, rebelling against authority, defying the system, winning competitions,forging friendships…. A classmate remembers Dhody as a leader of sorts, collecting medals and prizes and actively participating in college activities. "She was smart and beautiful with long, straight tresses. Being a Sardarni, she was not allowed to cut them so she would trim the edges and tell folks back home that she had burnt her hair!" Chuckles Dhody, "I was bright and open, non-judgemental, confident and completely passionate about life. My 30s took all that away from me."
Here, she hastens to add that driving the nuns nuts at the hostel did not equate with rebelling against Dad’s authority. "His children were his pride and he trusted us implicitly. Dad was held with such great respect, that nobody had the courage to defy him, so I knew that I would marry the man he chose for me, no matter what. My sister, in fact, was married at 18."
After Dhody’s marriage crumbled, she lost focus and in an attempt to find answers, took off on every pilgrimage that existed and fell at the feet of every spiritual master she had heard about. There followed the ubiquitous trail of dargahs, satsangs, Gita readings, Reiki, Art of Living courses (three of them) and study of Baba Muktananda’s tomes. And each time she found herself heading for Ganeshpuri, she asked herself, "What am I doing here? I don’t even believe in gurus!" Yet it was here, at the Gurudev Siddhapeeth Ashram, that Dhody finally found peace. "I prayed a lot then," she says, "now it is a way of life." Some would call it a crutch. "If acrutch is God, so be it," she smiles. Remarks close friend and neighbour, Namrata Dutt Kumar, who accompanied Dhody on Art of Living, Reiki and Silva Mind Control courses, "Rita is a changed person. Not edgy and restless anymore. In fact, she is so content and happy that nothing gets her back up."
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The practice of holistic health, alternative healing and frequent periods of retreat following the path of Siddha Yoga (unfoldment of your own divinity), appear to seamlessly flow into Dhody’s ‘other’ life. The one that encompasses high fashion, a jet-setting lifestyle and schmoozing with the international beau monde. Her friendship with the Italian-born Valentina had tabloids from New York to London to Rome, scrambling to ‘outfroth’ each other with ‘dial Dhody for a quote’. Dhody who remained silent and inaccessible, views it as "an invasion of privacy. Valentina was going through a difficult time. I am glad I was able to be her source of strength when she felt vulnerable." Adds Nayar, "Rita is an amazing person, very spiritual and full of life and laughter. We have gone on many holidays together – from frivolous and funny ones such as to Goa and the Chiva Som spa in Thailand to deeper and meaningful ones to Dharamshala to meet His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. I am very privileged to consider myself a friend of hers."
Undisputedly a Page Three classic, Dhody, who subsists on raw vegetables and fruits most of the time, while enjoying a rare vintage and an occasional cigarette, confesses to have become selective about attending local jigs. "I pick an event, perhaps once a month, which is something to look forward to where I know I’ll meet everybody. The rest of the time I prefer to spend with my children and close friends." Her abiding interest in haute couture which was given a professional impetus by Indian designers in her early troubled days has seen her making some winning moves. Says fashion designer, Narendra Kumar Ahmed, of Dhody’s sartorial flair, "We have worked together quite a bit. I find her feel for style and understanding of fashion trends, particularly at the international level, quite uncanny." Today, through her Milan-based business partner, Katya Marano, Dhody works with top couturiers of leading international labels, Dolce & Gabbana, Georgio Armani, Versace, Krizia and Escada, among others, where she interprets their designs and concepts in India, often sourcing the embellishments and embroidery here. "I do this," she says, "primarily for my love for fashion and also for the financial freedom it gives me to pursue my passion for alternative medicine." On the anvil is a challenging project with Harvey Nichols but till the contracts are sealed so are her lips.
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Always uninhibited about her scooping necklines and designer-dictated hemlines, Dhody concedes to a penchant for garments that gently fall around the contours and take the shape of the body. "I love no-fuss, feminine clothes that have a sexy edge to them. Style has everything to do with attitude and I like to feel all-woman." The ‘all-woman’ is presently on life’s high. "People think I have a closet lover!" And does she? "No! When you know who you are, the choices that you make come from a position of strength and you can go for the longest time without experiencing a relationship. Sometimes, when a woman is very complete within herself, it can be intimidating for a man. But you’d rather be in a perfect situation than having to deal with anything less than that." And to friends who are on a never-ending matchmaking stint, Dhody’s is perhaps a tall order – "Someone who is secure within himself, who has extracted his own essence, who has dealt with all the baggage, is compassionate…."
She has finally lost her sense of fear and feels free. The last time Dhody visited her dad in Delhi, where he now resides, he patted her head and said, "I’m so proud of you. You’ve raced yourself." And then some.
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