Life | Size Does Matter

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Size Does Matter
Text by Sitanshi Talati-Parikh and Illustration by Wyanet Vaz
Published: Volume 21, Issue 10, October, 2013

When talking about one of the most important things about a man, Sitanshi Talati-Parikh believes itís important to find the right size

Just the other day, I was at an event filled with oodles of beautifully turned out heterosexual males. While I know there are enough women out there who love their men with all their brawn and torn jeans sitting atop a truck chewing hay, there is something poetic about a man impeccably turned out. It shows that he cares about the way he appears Ė he thinks about the exact fit of his suit as much as I would care about the cut of my dress. He isnít a dandy Ė heís eye-candy. And baby, there is a world of difference.

But we digress. So while I was checking out these Baskin-Robbinsí Men, I noticed their shapes. Each one was a different one. Some had it long, some slender, some stubby and short, some boxed in and some entirely non-existent. It bothered me. I mean is there a perfect size and shape? Should all men be made the same Ė or should there at least be an ounce of difference to tell them apart? Itís like having a bunch of super-hot Scandinavian models lined up before a man, all with poker straight hair and perfect bodies. Itís great, but whatís the point? Now make it interesting Ė a Brazilian, a Spaniard, a Pakistani, an Indian, a Chinese woman and of course, to satisfy one, a Scandinavian Ė thereís variety and it is fun to take a pick.

Going back to the men, I tend to lean towards the long and slender, but sometimes it can be too thin, you know? As you hold it in your hand, it feels like a string or a ribbon. You want something substantial, that when you hold it, it begins to state its presence, or you can command it by pulling it (and the man) towards you. They used to be plump and thick earlier Ė but with menís bodies getting slimmer and more well-maintained, it seems to have affected the size too. Nowadays all you see are skinny ones and they get thinner by the season.

Those short knobby ones donít work either; they show more than they hide Ė and who wants to know what lies beneath? Ideally, when in use, it should be the size of his hand Ė from finger to elbow. No, thatís not too big, you need a little something to tuck in. And in width, it should be at least half your middle finger extended. And thatís not too much to ask for.

And ground rules Ė it should always be restrained and well-tucked away. Kept loose and flapping around like itís about to attack isnít friendly Ė itís just not the way of polite society. Iíve heard there are contraptions that help keep it under control nowadays.

And how loud you plan to be when you bring it on depends entirely upon your personality. Can you handle the repercussions? After all, the tie maketh the man, and not the other way around.

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